If you’ve been jerked around by dating people who don’t know what they want, and you’re frustrated, heartbroken, and wondering if you’ll ever find anyone worthwhile, it might be best to sit out a few rounds of the dating game for a while. Rest assured that it’s not you: finding someone you’re compatible with and can relate too is pretty rare. Sometimes, it just feels more impossible than others. A break might put you in check and help get you in a better place. Here’s how to find out if you need a break:
1. You Assume The Worst About Every Guy
Instead of getting butterflies when you make eye contact with that hottie across the bar, do you immediately look away and shift your body language? When a friend tries to set you up, do you shut her down and refuse to even meet the guy? When you get into the mindset that “they’re all the same,” that’s a sign your cynical nature is taking over and need to take a break.
2. You Resent Your Phone
Whether it’s a matter of waiting in vain for it to beep, or any number of undesirable senders blowing it up, feeling anxiety when you check your phone obviously isn’t ideal. Texting when dating always comes with a certain degree of anxiety, but when it’s accompanied by a feeling of dread, give yourBlackberry (and your nerves) a rest.
3. Your Conversations are Stuck on Repeat
When you’re going out with guys who you don’t really connect with, it can start to feel like you’re just going through the motions. When you’re truly into someone else, your conversations will be unique and ideally, inspiring, sexy, and exciting. When you don’t feel that, chances are nothing else will be that extraordinary.
4. You Feel Like You Need “Me Time”
Dating without really connecting can be isolating (and not to mention, a huge downer). Take some time to focus on you and the positive things in your life: your work, your goals, your great friends. Make a list of personal goals to work on and put that exciting plan into serious action. When you pour your energy into what you love most, you’re less likely to surrender to scrutinizing texts.
5. Successful Dating Feels Impossible
Just because you’re disillusioned from dating too many unremarkables doesn’t mean the world has nothing to offer you. Remind yourself that dating is seriously hard – finding someone who excites you, makes you laugh, is worthy of your respect, treats you well, and fulfills all your other criteria is so rare. You’re going to have to sift through some dirt to find a gem. It’s just how it is. But if you find yourself feeling like you just can’t tread water in the deep end anymore, it’s probably time to float for awhile.
Lest you become jaded and cynical long before necessary, simply take a break from dating. Don’t wear yourself out. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to hole up in your fortress of solitude, just take a few weeks or months to focus on the parts of your life you can control. You may be surprised at how that break gives you the breath of fresh air you need to change your attitude.