You Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together… Maybe

Just in case you needed a reminder about T.Swift’s song that will now inevitably be stuck in your head for days. We apologize… in advance! It is perfect for this article. While I’m sure she was some really good reasons behind never considering getting back with her ex (like “it’s exhausting!”), sometimes the doors don’t always close so neatly. My boyfriend and I dated for a few months in the beginning of college, broke up, reconnected a few years ago – and we’re going strong. If you are thinking about taking your ex back, there could be a good reason – timing was off before, had too many external pressures, whatever. But there are some things to consider before taking him back. After all, you don’t want to end up in the exact same position that you were in before right? Ask yourself these questions before taking him back to help you realize if your Prince Charming is for real or if he is the fake that you dumped before.

Has he changed?
While I am a believer that shoes don’t stretch and men don’t change, occasionally people break this stereotype and clean up their act. We all change as we grow up and who knows, maybe time really has helped him see the errors of his ways. Ask yourself: Has he changed? Do you think that he’ll treat you better? Do you think that all of the complaints that you had before are all finished now?

How do your friends and family feel?
We don’t live in a vacuum, and even though relationship decisions are best made with your gut, it’s important to get a little outside perspective once and a while. Does your mom think it’s a good idea? Do your friends hate him? Do they like him? What’s their opinion? Typically, your friends and family will be completely honest with you when you’ve dumped a guy, whether they really liked him or really hated him. Listen to them and value their opinion.

Do you see it working out?
This is all about you and what your gut is telling you. Do you see the relationship progressing? Is that where you had a problem before? Was he not willing to commit to anything? It could still be the case, so you might want to discuss your future with the guy before you actually commit to him.

Can you forgive him?
Now the big question ladies. Can you let the errors of the past go? If you decide to give the relationship another chance, you have to be able to treat it as a blank slate. When a fight happens, and you know it will eventually, you can’t pull up something he did years ago and use it as ammo. You have to be 100% sure that you have let go all of the bad expectations and negative feelings you had after your breakup before you can give it another go.

How did the relationship end?
How did the relationship end? Was it good, bad or ugly? That directly affects exactly how any future relationship is going to go. For example, my boyfriend and I let things end because we didn’t have time for each other at that moment We stayed friends )and dated other people) until we were ready to pick up where we left off. If it ended and you two were still friends, that’s great! If it ended bad and you both said some terrible things, that’s harder to recover from.

I want to hear from you! Have you ever made it work again with an ex? What would your ex have to do to get you to reconsider? Share in the comments!

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